Confidence is a powerful tool that can help you tackle life with ease and assurance. But what exactly is it?
It is a positive and self-assured belief in one's abilities, qualities, and judgment. It is characterised by a sense of security and trust and a feeling of control in difficult or uncertain situations.
Confidence allows individuals to approach challenges with a positive outlook and to believe in their ability to overcome obstacles and achieve their goals.
Having confidence can also lead to improved relationships, greater personal and professional success and a general sense of well-being and happiness.
So, how exactly can I become more confident?
Well, before I jump into how you can develop more confidence, let me first dispel a few urban myths for you.
1. Confidence and self-esteem are the same thing
They are not the same thing. Confidence refers to a person's belief in their abilities to complete a specific task or handle a particular situation. Confidence can fluctuate based on the situation and can be affected by past experiences and external factors.
On the other hand, self-esteem refers to a person's overall sense of self-worth and value. It is a more stable and long-term aspect of a person's personality and is based on their internal beliefs about themselves and their abilities, which are their self-concepts. Self-esteem is not tied to a specific situation or task, rather it is a general evaluation of one's worth in the world.
To put it differently - confidence is situation-specific, while self-esteem is a more general and a long-term evaluation of one's worth. For example, a person may have high self-esteem but lack confidence in public speaking, while feeling confident in their abilities to excel in their career.
2. Confidence makes me appear arrogant
Arrogance is characterised by an over inflated sense of self-importance and a belief in one's superiority over others. Arrogant individuals often belittle or dismiss the opinions and abilities of others, and they tend to take credit for the successes of others. Arrogance can alienate others and hinder personal and professional relationships.
Confidence is characterised by a belief in one's abilities, good self-concepts and a positive outlook, and it is also coupled with humility, a willingness to learn and grow and respect for others. Being confident in yourself and your ability to relate to others improves personal and professional relationships.
3. Some people are just born confident
Whilst certain personality traits and genetic predispositions may influence a person's confidence levels, environmental factors, experiences, and learned behaviours also play a significant role in shaping an individual's confidence.
Meaning, it is a combination of nature and nurture.
For example, a child who grows up in a supportive and encouraging environment, where they are allowed to be adventurous and are praised for their efforts and abilities, is more likely to develop a high level of confidence as an adult. Whereas a child who grows up in an environment where they are restricted, criticised or belittled may end up with low confidence levels.
Additionally, experiences and accomplishments can also shape a person's confidence. For example, accomplishing a difficult task or achieving a goal can boost your confidence and give you a sense of self-assuredness.
So, how exactly can I develop confidence?
Positive approach to life is a crucial component of building confidence. Instead of looking through the negative glasses, try looking at the positive aspects of yourself and your life. Challenge your beliefs and accept your strengths and accomplishments. By doing this, you'll create a more positive and empowering self-image, which in turn will boost your confidence.
Setting achievable goals is a great way to build confidence. When you set a goal, work towards it, and then achieve it, you'll feel a sense of accomplishment and pride. This helps you become more confident in your abilities and gives you the motivation to take new opportunities. Working with a coach to help you set achievable goals may support you.
Learning new skills can also help you build confidence. By stepping outside of your comfort zone and engaging your brain to learn new things, you'll not only learn and grow, but you'll also become more confident in your ability to step into the Unknown.
External factors can also play a role in building confidence. Receiving support and encouragement from loved ones, recognition for a job well done, and being praised for your efforts can all boost your confidence levels. So don't be afraid to reach out to your support system and let them know how much you appreciate their encouragement and support.
The role of preparation in feeling confident:
Preparation plays a significant role in feeling confident because it gives you a sense of control and security in a given situation. When you prepare for a task or event, you are more likely to feel confident in your ability to handle any challenges that may arise. The preparation process reduces anxiety and uncertainty, leaving you feeling more confident and capable.
Remember confidence is not something that you either have or don't have, it's something that you can build and develop over time. So be patient, be kind to yourself, and always keep reaching for your goals.
VenusSX is a coach specialising in relationships and intimacy. She has seen how confidence has helped her clients grow and succeed in the areas of most importance to them.
If you would like to learn more about how VenusSX can help you develop confidence check out her coaching programs here.
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